A
Mighty Change of Heart
Hello wonderful family!! Feb. 10, 2014
I hope that you have had a great
week!! :) How has the weather been there in Utah? Lots of
snow? There has been up here! This week has been amazing, I have so
many thoughts that I want to make sure I get down, but it may be jumbled.
I've just learned so much over the past few days!!
So, Monday was great, we did
everything that we needed to, and I got my hair cut by a member, which was
great! I love p-days and being able to get all organized for the rest of
the week, it is great! The next day though really wasn't the greatest for
me for some reason. I feel like this transfer I have had a hard time
having the desire to be obedient. There are so many things that we need
to do in this area each day and it is exhausting. There are so many
people having hard times and we hear all about it. There are also so many
rules that we are expected to obey with exactness as missionaries. I was
starting to find little ways to fight against the rules, mainly in my
heart. I wasn't fully engaged in this good cause. Outwardly, I was
doing everything that I needed to do, but I wasn't being changed
inwardly. That led to discouragement and overall, I just wasn't as happy
as I was at the beginning of my mission. We had a good day, we saw the
people we had planned and had good lessons, but I was just tired. I was
so looking forward to getting to bed at the end of the day. So, when the
time came to plan for the next day I really didn't have the spirit with
me. We needed to make back up plans if there was going to be a snow day,
which I wasn't too excited about. Here in Bethel, we are really far away
from civilization. Like, 5 miles. On snow days the only way to get
around is on our own two feet, and tracting on our super spread out road just
really didn't sound fun at all. Thankfully, I have a super amazing
companion that noticed I was a bit frustrated and we talked it out. How I
love talking things out with companions!! I learn and grow so much!
:) We came to the conclusion that this is the Lord's work. Not
mine. I am on a mission to serve Him the way that He has designed for me
too. With all my heart, might, mind and strength. I need to do His
will. So, we made the plans and I felt more at peace.
Wednesday came and school was
cancelled due to massive amounts of snow covering the ground, and it
kept coming. So, we worked on visuals inside until the time came to
bundle up and head out with our shovels. I was still somewhat holding
back, though. It was still not my desire to go out. But, I went
anyways. And we saw a miracle. The first door that we knocked
on was one two houses away from us. A lady answered the door
and we asked if we could help her shovel. She let
us in instead and we talked for a while. She had been through some
hard things recently and she didn't really have a religion to turn to.
She wants to understand the Bible, so we offered to do Bible study
with her, and she readily agreed. Then we started talking about the
plan of salvation and she was excited to learn more about it. Long story
short- new investigator. What a huge miracle. The last time I found
a new investigator was late October of last year. This was a big
deal. And it all stemmed out of the blessing of obedience. My heart
was instantly softened. My desire increased so much. I
changed.
But that still isn't the end of the
story. We had zone conference the next day. The best zone
conference I have had so far! It was exactly what I needed to hear.
It solidified everything that I learned the previous day. It was all
centered around this inspired case study called, "The Fourth
Missionary" by Lawrence E. Corbridge. Please look it up and read
it. It is long, but it is worth it!! I have such a renewed desire
to be better a better missionary and a better person after having read and discussed
it in our meeting on Thursday. It is all about becoming the missionary
that God wants me to be. All about changing! So many great insights
from this talk :) One thing that he emphasizes is that we are always
changing. As humans we can't remain stagnant. Life is like a
treadmill, we cannot stand still. Here is one of my favorites excerpts,
"To believe that weakness and deficiencies in your character are
unchangeable is to reject the central truth of the plan of salvation. You
are not cast in stone. You not only can change but you do change all of
the time. You are a dynamic, changing, evolving being. You are
always changing. You never stay the same. You cannot stand
still." We are either moving forward or backwards, and at the
beginning of the week, I felt like I was slipping back. Giving in to the
natural man inside of me telling me to hold back the one gift I can give to my
Savior, my will. This is not what a fourth missionary does.
Lawrence E. Corbridge divided different types of missionaries into
categories and describes the characteristics of each. A fourth missionary
is one who changes the lives of others and his own as he gives his will to God
throughout his service. He is not perfect, but he has DESIRE. He unconditionally
surrenders. He gives his whole self to God. My favorite part of
this talk expounds on this.
"Just give it up.
Surrender your will to Him. Unconditionally. Withhold
nothing. Turn it all over to Him; all of your desires, wishes,
dreams and hopes. Be true and faithful in your head and in your heart,
not just in your behavior. Trust in Him. Trust Him who knows all
things. Trust Him who has all power. Trust Him whose love for you
is perfect. Trust Him, who alone suffered, paid and atoned for your sins,
and for your weaknesses as well. Trust Him that He will make of you,
immeasurably more, than what you will ever, ever, in all eternity, make of
yourself. He will create of you a masterpiece. You will create of
you only a smudge. You will create an ordinary man. He will create
a God."
How powerful. How true.
I know that as I strive to give the Lord my will. Give him the desires of
my heart. He will indeed make of me a masterpiece. I just need to
take that first step and trust Him. It isn't always easy, and I know that
I will never be perfect at it. I will always have weaknesses, but that is
why I have a Savior. He understands. He loves me so much. He
knows that I have a strong desire to serve Him so he gives me experiences that
teach me and test me and help me grow even more so I can rely on Him even
more. What a perfect plan. I am so grateful for it! I am so
grateful for this opportunity to change and grow! I know that it is
possible if I turn to the Savior! It was a zone conference to remember.
And what is more, my personal study
lined up even more to this theme of change and desire. I just finished
reading Alma 5. Coincidence? Not at all. In verses 11-13 Alma
describes his father and the change that Abinidi's words made on him and his
people. Then he asks in verse 14 to those he was preaching too, and I
would like to think to me as well- "Have ye spiritually been born of
God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye
experienced this mighty change in your hearts?" These questions
are so profound, and I feel like the answer can change for me everyday, because
change is constant. I need to make sure that everyday I strive for these
things. That is what a fourth missionary does.
Overall, it comes down to whether I
just go through my mission, or whether I let my mission go through
me. It all comes down to my desire to give my will to God. My
determination to serve with everything that God has given me. My love for
myself and for the people I am surrounded by. And I know that this needs
to continue throughout my whole life. I know that it is possible, and it
is even the easier way to go like it says in the fourth missionary. What
a blessing!
I love being a missionary!
Through the think and thin I have been changed bit by bit to become more of who
God wants me to be. I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is
true!! It has blessed my life so much!!
It certainly has been a great week!
:) And I am so excited for the upcoming week as well!! I hope that
you have a fantastic Valentines Day!! I LOVE you SO, SO, SOOO
much!! Keep on keeping on and remember,
"The realization of your
amazing, astounding, and true potential happens only in the hands of the
Lord. But you and only you can place yourselves in those masterful,
loving hands."
Sister Bergeson :)
No comments:
Post a Comment